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What NOW?

You know what happens when relationships break up? Many things; the nature of which depend on the nature of the persons involved. For some, it’s a moment of revenge. For others, a moment of sober reflection. Some might even decide to crawl  back into their shells like the proverbial tortoise, whose bald head got stung by a bee on one occasion. But again, one might find a few who just shrug issues off and move on.


I do not intend to delve into the many nuances I’ve just raised. I only want to consider the revenge path. Why? Because it’s arguably the most natural reaction for most people. It takes grace, good upbringing and strength of character to deal with break ups. Unfortunately, these virtues are greatly demanding. This explains why siblings keep malice for weeks (and sometimes even months), why some blood relatives still seethe with revenge, why families fall apart, and why some broken hearts never mend.


Some years ago I encountered two ladies who were remarkably very close. Somewhere along the line they had a misunderstanding and I watched (in raw amazement) as what had seemed such a perfect relationship disintegrate into thin air. In the preceding weeks, they said the most hurtful and hateful things about each other to anyone who cared to listen. And you know, since they had been very close, they knew secrets about each other that they significantly used to their advantage. Hmmm. Sad! As I write this, I don’t think they’ll get back together except some miracle happens.


Friends, relationships matter to us all. They are not just about guys and girls and vice versa. Whenever and wherever human beings come together, bonds develop, and relationships are formed. Chances are that not all these relationships will stand the test of time. But why would I decide to reveal the many secrets a one time good friend told me just because we’re no longer on the same page? This is a clear sign of weakness; an absolute cowardice that I should be totally ashamed of. Not being able to deal with breakups without playing to the gallery and painting our erstwhile friends black is weakness of character and gross emotional immaturity.


We pray for grace to be able to move on when all attempts at getting back together fail. We also pray for self control not to reveal things we were told in secret just because our relationships have crashed. Hopefully, by God’s grace, we’ll begin seeing less and less character assassins who glory on the weaknesses of erstwhile friends.


God help us all.


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